Each labor was entirely different: I was induced with James one week early. Madison came two days late on her own. My water broke with Jack. Three different experiences, all ending in the same birth process. IV. Epidural. Lay in bed. Wait. Push. Baby.
I guess my struggle was with the IV. Is it really necessary? I spent two weeks in absolute pain after Jack because my feet got so swollen I could have sworn the skin was going to burst open. It just didn't seem right. The epidural is absolute bliss. I'm not going to lie. But after Madison I had an excruciating spinal headache for WEEKS. This happens because spinal fluid leaks from the injection site.
Then I watched a documentary on America's birthing process. I couldn't help but feel the same way Ricky Lake did. I felt cheated out of the experience. Let me preface by saying I tried to go "natural" with James - but when you're induced that doesn't really happen. Pitocin makes the contractions longer and more painful. I was doomed to fail. Because of that awful experience I decided that with Madison I wanted to sign up for the epidural straight away. By the time we reached the hospital I was pretty much ready for delivery. I had done most of the labor part at home. Because my water broke with Jack it was a whole new ball game. I had no idea what to expect. But laying on a bed waiting for contractions to get stronger was uncomfortable. My hips hurt. All I could think of was, "I want to walk around, I want my back rubbed, I want to curl in a ball...."
Back to the documentary - most countries use midwives for the entire process, from pregnancy all the way through to delivery. It looked so natural. Painful - yes. But not unbearably so. The film mentioned how American women fear the pain of childbirth. Yes, I'm guilty. Who wants to feel pain when you can have an epidural?
I could go on and on how I feel now about the whole process. But IF I were to have another child, I would not want to be confined to a bed (a birthing center is appealing or even at home) and even though I love my OB to death, I would most likely prefer to go to a midwife. If I was to give any advice to a soon to be mother, it would be to do some research, think about the kind of experience you want to have, and don't fear the pain of childbirth itself.
And for dessert, here is a picture of my baby Jack. Michael looks at him and says, "You're going to want to have another one." With this cute little face, who wouldn't?
5 comments:
I personally like that documentary, but always fear it'll offend people since its pretty one sided.
I like the advice you'd give people. I wish I had a stronger voice and was a bigger advocate for midwives. I just know it was right for me and leave it at that.
And that baby is stinkin cute! You better have another!
He is sooo cute! I would prefer a midwife. I've heard too many horror stories concerning nurses and doctors. It's nice to just have one person to be there with you who knows what she's doing.
Glad you posted this. I agree - it is all SO mental - and if you're not mentally prepared, and then on top of that you get induced, good luck! And women feel bad for not going natural not realizing they were against odds to begin with. Research, research, research - helps so much. Once you believe it will be really painful & understand the body's pain messages, but that you really CAN do it, you're 95% there I think. At least that's the way it was for me. That movie helped to open my eyes too while I was pregnant. I dream of a homebirth too in many ways, but have a couple of reservations with it. And a birthing center has always sounded like a great compromise to me too! A birthing center with water births available - sounds perfect to me. Oh yeah, and guess what - for an average birth, you don't HAVE to have an IV - you can ask for a heplock instead, leaving you mobile. There are all sorts of things like no IV, staying standing, walking, moving, showering, birth balling it, (even bringing a kiddy pool to labor in - I'm not lying!) etc. - that they won't offer you & may even frown at, but that are totally allowed & SOOO beneficial! Ok, anyway, I've thought about writing more about my last birth process too, but have wondered if it would offend people. I really like how you wrote this. Thanks for sharing :)
Sorry for the essay!
congrats!!! He is way cute!!
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