Baby Frustrations

I can't believe I'm still pregnant. It's October 4th and her due date is October 10th. I'm so depressed I ate a bowl of ice cream and doused it in chocolate syrup. It can't get any worse than this. I wake up 3 times at night to go to the bathroom. James is having a hard time adjusting all of sudden and refuses to stay asleep in his bed. So we are greeted by little hands and feet in our faces. I surround myself in pillows, which saves me from getting kicked in the gut (poor husband).

I don't know what to do. I told work I was done for several reasons 1) I'm so exhausted from the false labor signs that keep me up most of the night (well now they have gone away), 2) My hips hurt so bad, I feel like I need a walking cane, 3) I'm tired of people asking "you are still here?" and 4) I'm completely unfocused and don't feel like it's fair since I have to get up every half hour to go to the bathroom or talk a short walk around the building to loosen up the legs.

But what's more frustrating is all the labor signs since I hit 35 weeks and now absolutely nothing. I get contractions here and there but nothing like before. Sometimes I wonder if she's even still alive in there because she doesn't really move anymore. Well she's moving right now, but it just probably seems that way because there is not much room in there. I told my Dr. this baby is coming out on the 12th. So if anything I will be induced by then. But my intent was to let her come out on her own so if I have to get induced on the 12th I will be sooooo mad, because I could have gotten induced on the 5th at the earliest (tomorrow).

I just don't know what to do with myself. The house is clean, laundry is done, all the babys stuff is complete, the room is set up. Everything is READY.

Our friend came over yesterday to help Michael dump the remaining trash from the backyard; the rest of the security bars (when we bought this place it was like a prison - bars on every window), some tree trash, old baseboards, an old wheelbarrow, and other such nonsense. Now that we've cleaned it up, it actually looks bigger than I thought it was. Michael has the biggest project of all; moving the shed. It will have to be taken apart and put back together on the side of the house. And all that has to be done before I can trench for sprinklers. And the sprinklers have to be done before we do pavers. I've been thinking about building up a retaining wall for a small garden. It'll have to be like a foot tall so the dog won't eat it or pee on it.

Things I have lined up this week out of boredom: 1. paint the shed to see what our colors look like, 2. pick out the stone for the outdoor fireplace, 3. plan out rock/plant/grass areas, 4. design the irrigation system, 4. move some river rocks from the backyard to the front yard, 5. buy a new wheelbarrow, 6. look for new leather couches for the family room.