How Could You Be So Heartless?

Look at this little guy. He is my world. Me & James. We are like this *fingers overlapped.* It can't get any better, me and him. We get along like peas and carrots....well, most days.

Today he started school. He qualified for a program through Mesa Public Schools for special education to help him with his speech. It will be a great experience for him. He gets to ride the bus in the morning and gets dropped off in the afternoon. Sweet little school boy.

Here he was watching his morning tv. He had no idea what was in store for him.

But he carried his new backpack like a pro, shoulders hunched upwards, head tilted back. You'd think he was a frosh in high school.

And like good parents, we both took time off work that morning to take our little boy to his first day of school. At least that's what we were told to do. One gold star for the month. Take time off work to take child to school. Check!

James was more interested in playing on the playground and was upset that he couldn't. But when he got into the classroom the teacher's aid enticed him by a box of Toy Story toys. Like, how did she know? Like how??? Mere coincidence? Maybe.

So as he played we conversed with the teacher, got some additional info, and all our fears were laid to rest. We snuck out quickly when he wasn't looking.

All I could think about was work, work, work. On the drive back home, Mike said to me "what if they kick him out of school?" Silly, that just won't happen! No kid gets kicked out of preschool!

And away to work we went.

I was grinning ear to ear. Telling all my colleages what a great parent I was. Mother of the Year Award I should get for today! Until one asked, "Did you not want to leave him?" Uncheck. "Did you cry?" Uncheck. "You didn't cry? I bet you bawled like a baby on the way to work!" Definitely uncheck. "You cried secretly in the bathroom." No check.

So I thought, what? No one said anything about crying. If anything it was supposed to be the child, right? I know when I went to preschool I cried when my mom left me. I remember that. I cried for a long time.

Nope sorry no crying. Didn't even feel sad leaving him. Maybe I don't get my five gold stars yet. Mother of the Year Award will just have to wait.

Later that evening Mike said, "James when are you going to start driving so you can get me Taco Bell?" I thought secretly to myself, "sooner than you know." And the thought of my babies made me really sad. Why can't they just stay little forever?