Where do I even begin?
I guess I start with a phone call.
My dad called me two days ago. He said something about being in Phoenix (he lives in Flagstaff) and asking if I needed my carpets cleaned (what he does for a living) and him flying to LA to pick up my new step-mom. What?
Background: My dad met this lady on the internet two years ago. He went to China last year to visit her for a few weeks. I haven't heard anything about her since then. Until... two days ago.
Back to the phone conversation. My dad was telling me he finally got Yang, aka "step-mom", a Visa to come to the U.S.
Yesterday I got to meet her and her 13-year old son. It was just how I thought it was going to be.... awkward. So I'm blogging about this because I didn't think it bothered me. But it does. I guess I don't understand how this is all going to play out. I don't understand how you could pick up and leave your life to go to a different country to marry a person you don't even know. She doesn't speak english. They communite by writing notes to each other. I do wonder what her intentions are as well. Is this her meal ticket to the U.S.? To get her son to live and go to school here? This is quite curious to me. Help me understand.
Talk amoungst yourselves. I'm willing to hear all sides of the story. I just don't get it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I think it is hard as a child to see our parents make decision's we have no idea what they are basing them off of and don't know if they are making the right choices. I still have a hard time with some of the decisions my parents make. Hopefully in your Dad's situation his now Wife has good intentions. I think it's good to be cautious as his daughter, because you love him. Perhaps only time will tell. I would say try to stay positive and happy for your Dad and get to know her better without being too critical of the circumstances. Easy to say, may be hard to do, I know.
Wow, that is quite a shocking story. Only communicate by writing? There's really nothing you can do except smile at her a lot I guess.
I think would be a really hard thing to deal with! Although I can't see any dad really communicating about what's going on in his personal life, I would be hurt that he made such a big decision without passing along much information, but I really don't know what I would do with those feelings, you know? It would seem like something you'd just want to shove in some corner in your mind and just let them be happy, but at the same time you don't want your relationship with your dad to suffer because he doesn't know your feelings.
I remember when my aunt who had just divorced her husband of 26 years met a guy online and they got a temple marriage a month or so later. It just felt unreal. I guess the positive side is that at least in your dad's case it's been going on for two years, so you can have hope that there's more going on there than a "meal ticket."
"I have no response to that." Totally judge her, watch her, spy on her and go through her wallet! j/k. I can't really say what to do... Is she LDS? Maybe not likely since she's from China. You hear horror stories but I always say give people the benefit of the doubt and just pray for the best:)
I guess I should say that I'm happy for my dad and everything. I think he deserves to be happy.
BUT IT'S JUST SO WEIRD!!!!
It could be worse, right? She could be MY age!
Okay John just read my response and he thought horror stories was a little strong(not to scare you, bad choice of words on my part) He said to hope for the best. Sorry for the horror story thing.
How long have they been married then? She writes in English I guess?
... It would be hard to have not been informed by him, although maybe he was dreading informing you b/c he thought people wouldn't understand.
Since they are already married and these are his actions, there is not much you can do. I have been learning through other people's experiences (and then reflecting on my own) how much we all feel we can control each other's actions to some degree when sometimes we just have to deal with it b/c ultimately we can't control anything but ourselves. ... Which is the harsh reality to face, but understanding that sure does help in facing it.
Sorry that sounds harsh. I also want to say that that would be hard and I hope she has good intentions too (the two years thing does seem positive). Hopefully they make each other happy! My parents loved the people in China when they visited recently (I know, that's generalized, but still) ...
All I can say is "Wow". And, "sorry Bianca"... I don't get it either.
Post a Comment